it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
Randomize