you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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