My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize