You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
