My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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