I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Randomize
