She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
