We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
