Tell her she can't have a vagina
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
be right there i have to get my cape
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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