none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
just tell him i said nine months
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
