ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
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