I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
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