I should be sponsored by Trojan
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I think your dad took our porno
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Pooping to opera.
Randomize