ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
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