matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
That's when you crack a 10am beer
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Someone came in the potted fern
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
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