this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Randomize
