If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
