You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Randomize
