I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
He is an equal opportunity slut.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
