She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
