I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
The feeling are messing with the penis
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
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