3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
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