Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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