I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
