I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
