escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
Randomize
