I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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