I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
