You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
