She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
