I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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