ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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