thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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