Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
