I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Randomize
