In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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