Dude my mom stole all your condoms
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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