Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I'm getting married
To pizza
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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