Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
