i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize