i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
