Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Randomize