sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I think people are normalizing furries
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
