I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
I just gift wrapped bread.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Randomize
