I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize