i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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