Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
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