just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
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