yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
I had to cum in my sink.
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