Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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