I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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