I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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