I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
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