Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
