who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
Four minutes until I can fart!
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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