I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
